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User blog:Dorkpool/Creepypasta Riffs: The Build-A-Bear Workshop Massacer
Remember Build-A-Bear Workshop? You know, where you got a stuffed animal and could dress it up in stuff? I do, since I did get a bear from there a while ago. His name is Hotrod, and I still have him. He wears a Spider-Man costume. But enough about my oddly-named stuffed animals, you're here to read a bad Creepypasta made slightly better by my bad jokes. So, let's stuff the empty body of a fake animal, and Riff this bitch. Now, before I start, I have to address the title, "The Build-A-Bear Workshop Massacer." No, I did not misspell that. The writer spelled it that way. Be afraid, people. Be very, very afraid. It was a cold windy day and I was finishing my homework when my alarm app started to ring I bent down to see what the event was and to my surprise SHIA SURPRISE! it was my little cousin's birthday. I rushed down stairs to tell my mom, and told her but it seemed that she already knew. She told me that she knew the perfect gift for my little cousin...a stuff bear Or the Rick Bear, better known as the Things and Stuff Bear., and the nearest place to get a stuffed toy is Build-A-Bear Workshop. We drove off our driveway and headed to the mall it took 12 minutes to get there. What an important piece of information. When we reached the entrance to Build-A-Bear Workshop it was really cool there stood 2 giant stuffed bears dressed as drummer boys. But something scared me the eyes they seemed like human eyes, but I think it's all in my head. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…oh, you’re so naïve. So I entered and an employee greeted me and my mom politely and asked us if we needed help with anything? Why the question? My mom asked, "Where are the stuffed bear?" and the employee replied, "Section A-2." so me and my mom headed to section A-2 and started searching for a bear that my cousin will truly love. “Unfortunately, she failed miserably and found a bear possessed by Satan.” I found a bear with a brown spot on its belly, I was about to pick it up when I heard a soft cry so I started to follow the sound when I was lead to a big bright green door with a bear in the middle of the door, so I reached my hand out and opened the door and I saw the most terrifying thing ever, something that you never thought that you'll see in your life. A story worse than this? There were children on some wooden bed some were strapped down other were nailed and beside each bed were metal tray filled with sharp objects. I started to walk down to a wooden bed I stared at the body with horror for it was my cosin! Well, good thing your cousin ok. His skin was peeled of, his right eye was missing, and I looked a little further and his hamstrings were cut off, and worst of all there was a huge hole in his chest so I focused really hard and his heart it had a hole it looked like a heart. I bent down and threw up. Ew I soon heard the door handle rattle so I hid behind some cardboard boxes and waited the door creaked open I held my breath. A employee Can somebody get the writer of this story a book about how to properly use grammar? And read it to him? started to walk up to a empty bed and he seemed to be carrying something. He dropped whatever he was carrying onto the bed and went to a shelf to get some tools. To me the object Wait, what object? Did I enter a different story? Is it a better story? looked like a little girl at least 4 years old and I was right If only you were right about other things, like proper grammar usage…''I was about to move and help her but the employee came back to the bed he grabbed a knife and started to cut off the little girl's skin. The little girl started to scream in pain, the employee stuck his hand into her mouth and grabbed her tongue and cut it off to make her unable to scream, ''I’m not expert here, but I’m pretty sure you can scream without your tongue. You can’t speak, but you can make noise he then grabbed a spoon and sticks it in her eye and scooped it out of her eye socket blood started to cover her face and neck, he then proceeded and grabbed a scalpel and sticks it in her chest and dragged it down to her belly button, then he opened the flesh and grabbed a hammer and bashed her ribcage and there her heart exposed he then proceeded and made the same marking on her heart, he finally grabbed a pair of scissors and started to cut the diseased little girl's ham strings. The employee then went to a round table were he started to form a stuffed bear and now I knew why he cut a small shape heart from the girl's heart. Plot? He finally left the room and I finally could of escape the horrific scenery I found my mom and told her that we had to leave instantly, and she said that she still hadn't found the perfect bear so I had no choice but to drag her out of the mall, “and my mom totally went along because she’s cool with me doing this kind of stuff.” I told her every thing that I saw, and thank god that she believed me Ohhhh…his mom is gullible. Ok, that makes sense. '' she then called the cops. I told them what I saw they entered the mall, it took 30 minutes when they got back and said that there was nothing there no bodies, no wooden beds, nothing at all. ''Oh, the pain! The cliché, it’s physically hurting me! They then told me that everything was just in my head and that the human mind can play tricks on you, it was 10:21p.m. Because apparently the time is important here. and I fell asleep I soon woke up but something felt different When NAMBLA Attacks I tried to get up but I couldn't and when I looked down at my hands they were strapped down Kinky ''and when my eyes focused more I found out that I was the next to die. ''Oh, no, the horror, whatever will we do, your life is important to the world, etc. END RIFF By the Preservers' underpants, this story is awful. The premise isn't very scary, the spelling and grammar are horrible, and the plot is pretty cliched. I've got "White the Killer" in my head while reading this stinker, since that story and this story are about the same when it comes to spelling and grammar. I should note the comment that someone wrote for this story, in which the writer said that this was his first story. "It's my first story" can excuse minor things, like not so good dialogue or minor plot holes. But something this bad cannont be excused by that. Maybe if it was the first thing you wrote in your life in any form, it could be excused, but I doubt that's the case. I should note where I found this, which I think is becoming a treasure trove of Riff-worthy garbage: the Creepypasta Land Wiki. I should also quote the rules on the home page of the site: "Even though we have less restrictions than the other Creepypasta Wiki, we are endowed to delete certain pastas that are among the following: Rip-offs, Blatant Trollpastas, Shittypastas, Cliche/Poorly Executed or Non-Creepypasta. When I say some, I don't mean all of them. We still have standards to KEEP LESS RESTRICTIONS and have a better time here. Do not have intended grammar errors in your Creepypasta, like "I LOVE ZO PLAE VIDEY GAWES", you will receive a 1 day block and the page will be taken down." Clearly you don't mean all of them if this story is there. Also, I personally don't find reading garbage an idea of 'a better time.' And I'm pretty sure that based on the second rule, this story should be taken down. But it hasn't been. Good job, guys! So, what do you guys think? Is the story good? (If you say yes, I have to ask if you're literate) Is the Riff funny? Do you wish I would be killed in a Build-A-Bear Workshop? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Category:Blog posts